A friend had called. Complaining about his problems with a mutual friend of ours - He talked about people being 'passive aggressive'.

I noticed that 'passive aggressive' doesn't just refer to not being 'aggressive' (purposefully mean behind someone's back if he disappoints you); But it also means not being 'passive' - If you dont' like something going on, take action to make things better. It's passive to either be a doormat or end the relationship with no honest explanation. Those quiet choices are not aggressive, but they are still passive - I never noticed that before.

I decided to be 'active' in my own relationships. In my mind. Not ready to take action (I actively seek out what I need for business, but I've been so passive in my personal life). So I set a date. If my personal relationships aren't satisfying by that date, I will speak up at that time. And see where it takes us.

Started my regular work. Called an agent. Prepared detailed travel directions for Sunday (Face Painting at a Labor Day Party in Whippany NJ followed by Caricatures at Stony Brook University). Then, Stop. I stopped. I took time to do for myself what I wish my friends would do for me. Not very good at it - I'd do better with some help. But I tried. And I felt supported in my efforts by the wonderful Olivia Newton John CD I was listening to.

Enjoying the photo on the cover of the CD, I tried to experience her content mood by Caricaturing the photo. Here's what I came up with. I particularly like how I signed it at the top of the page. It looks like Olivia is looking right at me, speaking right to me, the AG logo in the corner:

The music really adds the feeling to the poety, but all I can do here is write the words of some of the songs that supported my morning off:

LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF:

You're hurting
Uncertain
Alone again.
Still searching
For someone
But so afraid.

You'll try for love
And you'll cry for love
Till you learn to love yourself.
You'll lie for love
And you'll die for love
Til you learn to love yourself.

The answer is sleeping
Inside your heart.
True love that
You long for
That's where it starts.

You'll try for love
And you'll cry for love
Til you learn to love yourself.
You'll lie for love
And you'll die for love
Til you learn to love yourself.

Breathe it out and breathe it in
Trust the light that shines within
Let it burn til you learn to love yourself.

Feel it in your heart
Deep inside you know
How beautiful you are
Love will lead you home.

And one more of her songs: LOVE IS LETTING GO OF FEAR:

The pain is something that you can't ignore
You're always wondering what the hurt is for
Your heart feels something, that is can't explain
You yearn for love but you're afraid to change
Remember the wounded bird still sings
Remember that faith has tiny wings

Love is letting go of fear
Love is letting go of doubt
Love is letting go
The chains that tie your spirit down and
Love is letting go of pain
Love is learning how to dance
Inside the light again.

You're always haunted by the love you've lost
You're scared that you'll forever pay the cost
You believe tis is the bitter end
Better lonely than be hurt again
Remember there's always one more chance
Remember that love's the only dance - and

Love is letting go of fear
Love is letting go of doubt
Love is letting go
The chains that tie your spirit down and
Love is letter go of pain
Love is learning how to dance
Inside the light again
Love is letting go of pain
Love is learning how to dance
Inside the light again.

Perusing my blog, I redrew the picture I scribbled out last 1/6/06. It was so much Fun:

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Today, I worked at a 40-year-old's Birthday Party. Some of the guests stationed themselves with me - watching, talking .... and
they wanted to draw also.

Two of the younger girls gave me their pictures.
I want to post them because I was really impressed.

Lisa drew the whole scene - that's me drawing. I was very impressed with her choice of what to include and her ability to draw depth -
she was only nine years old!

Ashley drew some beautifully diverse faces. And I could see that she was free - playing with what came out. Ashley was 10 or 11 years old.

I can really appreciate their talent. Young and undeveloped of course, but still raw and honest.

I meet so many neat people at these parties. Just within the past month, some of the people I remember meeting include:

a young mother of a one-year-old who keeps extended family together - actually managed to have something like Nine Grandmothers at the party (long story I guess - it wasn't explained to me, but everybody was very happy to fawn over this little girl - what a beautiful gift of family this mother was giving her baby).

an older mother who set up a beautiful life for her learning-disabled 40-year-old son. in an assisted living situation with other learning-disabled adults.

a mother of an autistic boy who was able to handle all those extra demands while still keeping a beautiful home (and the autistic boy himself who has been encouraged enough that he was able to smile and relate to me and the picture I drew of him).

an extremely tattooed he-man who's been hiring me a couple of times each year - because he makes family/friendly parties regularly - he's the one who keeps the group together - it's because of extroverted people like him that children can grow up 'belonging'.

a woman who has a fundraiser once per year to honor her father who passed away from Alzheimer's about 7 years ago.

people of all ages - the young boys with the comic books, the young girls who liked to look like Bratz-dolls, the (70 year old? 80 year old?) woman who claimed to be the oldest one here - and then turned with gyrating hips encouraging the 11-year old to Go!.

the 'Beach Mayor' out east who helps me set up every year that I do the Kitefly. I end up knowing all about him, his daughter (just got married this year), his wife who passed away 14-years-ago from breast cancer, his special house.

the litle girl that I call 'the strawberry girl' - she's now about 5 or 6 years old, but I always remember the first time I drew her - she had been about one-year-old at that time and her mother had had her dressed up in the cutest little hat that had strawberries on it.

the dark-eyes family (I think they might have been of Spanish background) that hired me to draw Clownicatures (Caricatures that are decorated to make each guest look like a Clown) last year. This year they had me back, but this time they had me draw Piratecatures (Great Pirate them decorated their yard)

Oh! The Barnes and Noble crowd - all those people who followed the series. Most of them came dressed up like the Harry Potter characters. Or at least had a scar and a pair of round glasses on.

The delightfully appreciative woman who was talking to me with Yiddish. She was telling me how important it is to keep that old language alive because of the descriptive expressions in it. Things like fadrei-a-cup, and foreist-a-hemp-and-kratzach. The first one has to do with a worrying head. The second one is something about 'tear your undershirt (hemp) and scratch (kratzach)'. She so appreciated words, pictures, songs, dances, and the people around us.

And and the nine-year old who finally taught me how to stick my neck out like a pigeon! She described it as bringing the top bone of the back of my neck
together with the bottom bone of the back of my neck. I'm so happy to finally know that! It will help keep my neck loose.

I love my clients. I love their guests. I love to draw. I love Life! Even with all the other stresses and excitements that it includes.

Here's the invitation with the quick Caricature I drew at Barnes and Noble.
I hope she emails me a picture of the beautifully detailed picture I drew of her at her pool party:

I haven't been bothering to bring my camera to gigs. Complicates the time, the entertaining, the drawing, the supplies. But then we can't see the pictures I give out. Everything we do - it's a tradeoff.

Here are some quick warm-ups I did in the car before a recent event when I was hired to draw Black/White. Since I usually use color, I couldn't rely on that. I had to be sure my pictures would look finished in just Black/White. Beautiful.