I can see clearly now. I'm alone in the light.
Yeow! What an interesting thing happened to me last night.

It was the last night of Hula Hoop Class for the next TEN MONTHS! I'm going to miss the best teacher in the world (Loren Bidner of hoopclass.com) - He has to go to Kentucky because he's an actor. So the class went out to a bar after class - to say good bye.
GOOD BYE! What?? Gone??

It was probably all sorts of disappointing emotions
that caused me to want my fingers to move/draw while we were at the bar -
even though it was so dark I couldn't possibly see the predraw on my paper

and I didn't have any idea of how I would Caricature his normal face.
My fingers wanted to draw, but there was no picture in my mind.
Drawing can be a habit, much like cigarettes. But probably healthier.

Loren was leaving, so I thought it would be a good idea to draw him.
So I'd really look at
and remember him.
But my drawing was bad. I bombed. Handed it to him anyway. I want my friends to know the REAL me.

Later in the evening, I just guessed at

'what would I play with if there was something funny about his face.
I tried at least 4 more pictures. Dissatisfied with all of them.

It's dark. The candles barely light the back of my dark-paper. I'm out of it. I'm losing it. I'm falling. I'm failing.

When I'm not in my regular work setting,
seriously set up and there only to draw,
I'm not Alison The Artist who knows what she's doing. I'm Alison the Person who's experiencing life..
I am embarrassed with these pictures. Close the pad.

Talked a bit. Had some fun. Interesting people. I liked being one.
br> "The rainstorm is letting up a little," I said, as I left for the Subway with the a very advanced hooper. Rode the subway, got on the train, took out those pictures that hadn't been given to Loren. And, SURPRISE! It is a fine picture. I can see him so clearly in the first picture that I drew without a predraw. Just a few lines here on the train, and I love this picture. It's so Loren. It will inspire me to "Come On", one of his signature lines that he says with a twinkle in his eye - to get us to join in and move freely

at whatever level we're at.
To enjoy hooping.
To be happy:

Loren's attitude is so empowering. "Come On". Use whatever you are working on, get moving, and enjoy hooping.
"Come On". Draw that picture. Just do it. Don't hesitate.

I'm glad that pictures last after the moment,
To use a quote from a cassette I bought years ago by Al Franken or Stuart Smalley, "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me."

And while I'm here, I'll also scan in a few pictures that I drew on the train.
I really like the brown paper that I brought out with me tonight.

Quiet week, money-wise. Just drawing on my own.
Here's some doodling I was doing thinking about how to draw lips:

And then, what to do. What to do this hot day?
So I tried out some face-painting ideas:

I got back into collaging the people
on the trains and subways
while going to hula-hoop class this evening.

It was so satisfying. It's what I like to do.

To Hire this Artist:
(516)579-4706
visualdust@gmail.com

Forgive me if, in my uneducated way, I sound stupid today.
But I'm still trying to figure out the experiences of the sick children that I drew last weekend.
This morning, I have to laugh over the thoughts I woke with:
"Eureka! I've got it! I think I just figured out the cure for cancer!"

I know I'm being facetious, but this is what popped into my mind this morning. (See yesterday's entry.)

Years ago, I heard or read that if you are upbeat, if you keep laughing, you would be protected against cancer. It stayed with me and became one of my personal jokes - ""I have to play and draw and dance - to prevent cancer."

Those children that I drew last Sunday,
their bodies apparently weren't satisfied with the usual amount of play and happiness. Not able to balance the ups and downs of life without cancering.
But there is no more joy that could realistically be part of their lives.
So what the caretakers do
is to give them such horrible experiences (such as injecting poisin to'kill the cancer').
That way, when it's decided that they won't have to do that anymore (remission),

the simplest life (such as being healthy enough to go to school each day)
makes them so relieved
that their bodies stop cancering.
(Then we make them remember how bad things can get by bringing them in for periodic checkups.
Because they're bodies have already learned to cancer from negative experiences.)

Good Luck everybody! Let's practice preventive maintenance by fitting in pleasant activities BEFORE our bodies need healing. Let's Party!!

I gotta draw.

Still. After a 4-hour gig on Saturday, and 2 gigs on Sunday, I got into my car and still just absolutely had to draw. To try to remember. To make sense out of what I see, or at least to express it to the world, to you. I had to remember at least a few of the faces that I drew yesterday.

Yesterday, I was hired to draw at Ronald McDonald House in NYC. That's a place where children with Cancer come with their families to live while they're getting Cancer treatment nearby. I looked at these kids - I wasn't involved in anything ugly - just lines of people enjoying and appreciating my pictures. Yay! Spread the Joy! As though this is all there is to our lives.

Well, me, I go from party to party. My job is to be happy and upbeat and kind.
But these kids, showing the results of the tortures they endured before sitting in front of me,
I wondered about their perceptions of the world.

How could they possibly understand
with their childlike trust
that the medicines that make them sick,
that the adults who supposedly care about them,
that these things bring them such pain and heartache
that this is the life we bring to them?

I drew so well yesterday. In tune with the expressions of the people I saw. But, of course, I gave their pictures to them. I couldn't recapture their expressions, but I could remember enough of their outward appearances to draw at least these three pictures when I got to my car after the gig.

Here's a picture of a beautiful little girl who looked like an angel.

Such pale,almost transparent skin, golden hair, big eyes.
Also a skin condition on her arms and legs, skin flaking off. Shaped around the bones so thin like a skeleton. Sitting in her wheelchair.
When she took her picture, she said that she likes everything about it except for the pink around her eyes
. That pink was so definitely there, as sure as the fact that she had eyes.
So instead of pretending that it wasn't (She saw it when she looked in the mirror, too),
I told her that it looked so feminine, so pink.
But I really knew, I really understood, that it was a symptom of her ordeal:

And here is a picture of a lovely, normal little girl - 10 years old, but looked younger.
Nothing wrong. But she (as many of the other children) had had her hair fall out.
Must be a terrible experience that makes a person's hair fall out.
I was there for a party. It was time to smile and be happy.
But I can't help but wonder - wonder about what life could be like for this little girl.
Must be so different than the life that most of us know:

And here is a picture of an outgoing, friendly, caring 17-year old boy.
Nothing looks wrong here. Except for when he walks. Hanging on to the things around him while his legs sort of trail behind.
A 17-year-old boy. A time when other boys might be super-aware of enjoying their bodies. What was it like for him?

To Hire this Artistt:
(516)579-4706
visualdust@gmail.com

Today I went as a guest to a bbq. As a guest.

The first thing I noticed was a sign chalked onto the driveway
to tell me that the Party was in the Back of the House.
So, of course, the first thing I just had to do was to
use that chalk to draw the hostess of our bbq: I thought it was going to be about 3' large, but it kinda got away from me.

Host and some of the guests were also a Caricaturists.So we drew each other.

Here is a picture I drew of one of the other Artists:

And here is a picture of his baby:

Here is a picture Caricaturist Aron Laikin drew of me:

And here is a picture Host Marty Macaluso had painted of me a few years ago:

We also played with some balls. Marty's father showed me how to pop a pink ball off my arm. He also made me laugh with some Magic tricks. He was going to show me how they were done, but I said, "No, No. Don't tell me. Don't ruin my fun." But now I'm wish I hadn't said that. There are probably more Magic tricks than I would learn in my side conversations - so a good Magician would still be able to dazzle me even if I learned a thang 'r two. And it probably would have come in handy to have a few tricks up my sleeve - when I entertain at parties. Oh well, next time. Live and learn is what I plan to do.