Prep day. Painted mats. Sent out literature. Made business calls. Prepared for upcoming gigs. That sort of stuff.

It included copying some of my samples at the Office Supply Store. Feeling annhialated by Business Alison, I was desperate for a break. So I drew the man who works at the Office Supply Store. His face was a difficult type for me, so I was pleased that I got such a pleasant likeness. By elongating the eyes to compensate for budding up the mouth:

I just noticed that I'm feeling too quiet again. And I have to stay quiet because there are people here sleeping. So I'm going to give some time to Dynamic Mediations.
Perhaps:
3 minutes of running in place
then 3 minutes of rolling in a seated position
and 3 minutes of rolling my eyes in circles
and finally 3 minutes of laying still.

Home today. Planned on putting stuff together to draw street Caricatures tomorrow. (I'm planning on waking at 5:30 am to get to Central Park early - perhaps I'll meet some of you readers out there!) Also planned to cut out and paint some mats
for a Bar Mitzvah I'll be drawing at
in 2 weeks from now. It's now 8 pm already, and I didn't get to either one yet. I know me - I'll probably do those things right after posting this message.

What I did today instead was Dahn Yoga (as usual)
and I spent a lot of time on the phone with that artist that I've been studying. After our conversation, I drew his Caricature:

......................

This is what being Creative is all about. We can't just turn it on when we get to a gig. We can't spend all our time doing prepwork, paperwork, housework, homework, being good, and then miraculously become Artists at the gig.
We have to seek and think, draw and not think, gear up and day dream. Do stuff that looks 'nonproductive'. Even stuff that we want to do
that looks like it has nothing to do with Art (today it was Yoga and talking freely without an agenda). It's part of the Creative Process. To get me into the in-the-zone time. Warm ups and exercises in Creativity. It reminds me of watching a dog turn in circles before he lays down. This world of Art.

Even though I have a lot of drive to be successful with doing my work, and I will get it done tonight, I have to spend a lot of time doing things that cannot be explained as to why they help the Artwork happen.

Finished Defensive Driving class tonight. After studying Elgin's drawings intensely.
Once again, I'm real pleased with the pictures that resulted.
Here are 2 more people I drew at Defensive Driving class:

Oh, for Shame!
I nearly posted


, saying how pleased I was because
I can do it
(These were extremely quick sketch pictures I drew with NO PREDRAW (just ovals for the doubles).
I was comfortable and the likenesses were decent.).
Then I came here and saw some REAL CARICATURES!

When I drew those little things, I was only focusing on likeness. I FORGOT ABOUT CARICATURE! Stretching. Exaggerating. Seeing what I could draw that would make the face funny or intense or something special.

So I went back and tried again. I only did one face, but I was quite satisfied with it.
And now I can really say YAY! I CAN DO IT!

Quick Cac - line only:

Quick Cac - plus shading:

Quick Cac - plus shading and color:

Great fun. I'd like to stay here and show you more,
but it's time to get out for tonight's gig.
A man's 31st birthday - a surprise party!

Today's practicing will be very useful for tonight's gig.
But I was really practicing because tomorrow will be
my very first gig of drawng on t-shirts.
No predrew there.
I've already drawn on fabric, so there's no problem with that. Gotta be gentle.

Just wanted to practice drawing without any predraw.
And that's a good thing to be confident with. For speed and comfort at a Party.

Funny how I draw differently in different venues.
My most playful is when nobody is relating to me in a Waiting Room.
My fastest/most entertaining is at a Party gig.

Then there's the - talking about myself when people are friendly - you'd think I could switch from Waiting Room mode to Party Mode, but it doesn't happen like that. Instead,I feel like I 'gotta be good now'. And with the people not posing for a minute, and me forgetting to see what's 'important', that's not 'in the Zone'. That's not doing Art. It's when I just miss it - good, but not good enough. For me. I'm not as excited with my own pictures.

I like to be noticed. I like when people are friendly. But my pictures become self-conscious. No longer just doing it. The same feeling as when I draw the person who hired me at a Party. Am I socializing, am I pleasing my client, or am I drawing - drawing, seeing my vision. As it's said, "Sooner or Later we all sleep alone in our own bed."

I guess it goes back to my own adolescence -
when I didn't know how to just be,
when I thought I had to be 'liked,
and when I thought I had to actually do something different/cool/worldly to be liked.

I believe that if I don't handle a situation 'right',

the situation will keep coming up until I 'figure it out'.
I plan on sitting back, looking, waiting til I'm ready to draw
the next time I'm 'noticed privately'.
Self Development.
There are so many different venues which have to be developed to BE a Real Artist.
I've figured out some of them, and now I AM on the verge of figuring out this one -
How to be in the Zone even while being noticed BackStage.
In fact, I'm not just on the verge - I just did figure it out.
Now I'm just looking forward to opportunities to practice it.

TO PERFORM is
to not perform.
PERFORMANCE.
To perform, to be able to do your thing in front of people,
in front of an audience -
there are different kinds of audiences.
As I was saying, different 'venues', different situations.
(Eureka! The word 'venue' - is like 'avenue'! Different paths),

a performer finds herself on in different situations
. Sometimes on stage,
sometimes in front of large crowds just watching to be entertained,
but sometimes,
like tonight,
sometimes WITH interested people. in a one-to-one relationship with people who are LOOKING at what she does.
Can she continue to do it?
When she knows they are going to EVALUATE the next thing she performs?
Being EVALUATED?!?

Being AWARE of being evaluated?
Choke, choke.
No! the answer is to continue to BE.
To be or not to be, that is the question.
I'll say it again - the Answer to the question is
TO BE!
Almost as though the audience isn't there.

I had no problem doing that 'on stage' - ie at a Party.

Because the whole setup was so overwhelming, I was so unprepared to be thrown into the limelight.
But in a more personal setting,
when people approaching interestedly
have no label that makes them 'there',
it is still time to BE.
To draw as though nobody is watching,
(to dance as though nobody sees).

I understand what I've been doing.

I understand what other artists have been talking about.

This awareness came after tonight's drawings.
I was drawing (as usual) before class started. (I'm taking Defensive Driving - for the Insurance Reduction.) Dan was so easy. So adorable, a straight likeness of this guy looks like a Caricature - as cute as a cabbage-patch doll!

Then, looking around for someone else who would be interesting,
I saw a woman with big round eyes.
But she did things like turning her head so much that all I saw was hair.
Took some patience

and some guessing:

Whew! I can see through an empty space between some people.
Look at this teenager with thick black hair.
Makes me think that there possibly might be something better about younger bodies:
Oh woe. We're all getting older.


BTW, I don't know if I like the black rectangle that I drew near the bottom of this picture. What is that? But I put it on in an attempt to add atmosphere/interest - a design element. Anybody have any ideas about that? Any other ideas of what to do to make this picture a final creation? Your comments would be welcomed
any time

any day
any year
at visualdust@lycos.com

And here - discovered, I was. Aye. A lovely upbeat girl. "Would I draw her?" she asked.
I'd like to. Really I would. I'd like to be ABLE to draw her.
But I'm losing it. Can't see the CARICATURE. Fell back into SHAPES -
shapes which change with each expression anyway. Struggle, struggle, scrump, scrump, scrump, krinkle. Not my favorite picture, but not too bad:

To Hire this Artist:
(516)579-4706
visualdust@gmail.com