On my own time.
On my own private time
when I can do whatever I want,

when I can speak or draw, sing, move, or be
whatever I want.
When I don't have to be concerned about whether or not anybody else likes it.
My own time. Not at work.
I can play with my drawings. Or I can draw what I really see.
Or I can sing right out loud. I don't have to smile. But I can if I want to.

Here's a picture of a woman that I saw in Starbucks today:

----------------------------------------

beginning of February 2006

It's not like me to choose my activities based on a generalized calendar,
but a friend asked me to draw someone in honor of black-history-month.
Hmmm, history. his story. do women count?
And what makes a person black.
And how long ago is history? Can it be based on a book I previously read that had been written by an author who is still very much alive?

Okay. Stop being ridiculous, I told myself. Draw someone in honor of black-history-month. I chose Iyanla Vanzant:

Daydreaming here. Playing with a generic face. To see what happens at different ages.
Here's the same girl when she's

Young, a Preteen, and a Teenager.

Young:

Preteen:

Teenager:

Happy Parties this weekend. Just before I went into Saturday Night's 47th Birthday Party, my friend reminded me to 'Make everyone look as ridiculous as possible.' Good way to help me see the Caricature. Everyone had fun. When they saw how I played with the other faces, they wanted to see what I could possibly come up with for theirs. Loosened them up naturally.

Then, Sunday, a one-year-old's Party. I arrived early and had time for some 'warm-ups' in the car. I took out some reference photos of babies to remind myself of how to draw babies. Boring. Dissatisfied with my studies, I remembered the instructions from the night before: 'Make everyone look as ridiculous as possible.' And, voila! The next two quick line drawings were quite pleasing:

Went in to the party. Some of the people got tamer pictures - hey, it's hard to play the edge all the time. Including the birthday boy - he just looked so gorgeous that it would have taken too long for me to figure out anything ridiculous. But it was freeing to know that I could even find things to laugh about with relatively non-descript baby-faces. (Not a lot of 'character-lines' in there yet, but they sure got personality.)

Anyway, it felt good to be sincerely appreciated all weekend. It's a good thing to bring FUN to people. I'm glad when I can do this. We're all happy when it happens.

Today I was teaching. Private lessons to a little girl who is hung up on 'getting things right'. I liked what she was doing with the craypas - rubbing them with her finger the way the Art Teacher at her school taught her. Apparently, the girl had been quite displeased with her friend who didn't know that technique. Even though I told her that it's all the right way, I appreciated the beautiful quality that my student's technique got. We ended up copying a Cezanne with her rubbing technique while I hope I also imparted the idea of respecting other Artist's visions and techniques. We all take different paths while learning because of what's offered to us as well as because of what we're attracted to. I hope I'll have the opportunity to show her several other techniques to enjoy. To respect both ourselves AND other people - that's how we can ALL PLAY TOGETHER.

Aghk! Today, my drawings were on! That's great. But, it figures, drawings good, supplies stink. I was struggling through the day with an old dried up marker. And it was even just a Sharpie.

There was so much that I wanted to get down. I had to do it with the very old dried up Sharpie - disappointed every time I started to draw.

Here are two people that I saw on the Subway:

And here is a very special lady that I watched at a dance studio.
She was in the lobby - holding this calm baby - with a quiet pleasure.

She was coo-cooing him just a little - not showy, not overdoing it, but really enjoying, wanting interaction with this baby. Turned out that she was just the Nanny - the mother was in the dance studio with a toddler. It was so refreshing to see real love flowing from someone who was officially just at work. I drew her because I want to remember her. But all I had was that Sharpie! (I went over the hair with a 'again dried up' marker just now - at least it was a Chartpak.) I saved my new markers for the 2 gigs I have this weekend - a 47th Birthday Party Saturday night with a Belly-Dancer, and a 1-year-old's Birthday on Sunday. I need new markers, but I have all these Bills here!

Loosening up again. When I try too hard, when I'm encouraged to 'do a good one', 'really get this one right', that sort of pressure, the Artwork gets stiff. It is not better. Artwork isn't synonymous with Agony. That might be why it's so hard for Adults to Be Artists. We finally got the skills, but we forget that Drawing is supposed to be Fun!

Started stiff and controlled today. Then I remembered to scribble fast - just jot down notes,
not make all my decisions before committing to them.
I scribbled the predraw quickly, then I just enjoyed drawing - didn't worry about it for this picture. And I'm finally pleased with my picture - the first one I liked today.

As an Adult Artist, Play IS my work. And don't think it's easy to do. Fun, but not easy to hang on to in this world of business and tax season.